innocence within your soul

innocence is just a little one. she hides within you. comes out of her shell whenever you want her to. Handle her with care. she knows nothing bad. she brings the best out of you when you pause out of the spinning frenzy of the everyday life that you live. don't forget her when you think of the simple things in life.often in our lives, we constantly live in the frenzy. sometimes it's so constant that it's the only thing we know. nothing else. appreaciate the things around you. smell the roses. admire the colors of rainbow. enjoy the fresh air. give people hugs to show you care. without those things, what's the point of living?if you could give your innocence a name, what would it be?

got to catch a plane but won't buy a ticket

like the backstreet boys says in one of their songs on their new album (now in stores, people!!)....it's a weird world, don't you know it?i grew obsessed with the song a few days ago and have been listening to it since... it just grew on me and of course, i did a lot of thinking with this song.+ do you realize that not everyone that smiles at you likes you for who you are? too bad hypocrisy doesn't have a scent that we could pick up from. + years ago, the pride of america was everywhere. people brought themselves to contribute to their country. men signed up to war to protect their country and their people. women became nurses to help injured soldiers. what happened to us today? i don't know anybody who volunteered to go to war in Iraq. All I see are people who refuse to drink from cups at the cafeteria (because it's not entirely clean) and instead, drink from paper cups. there are people in Africa who would kill for a cup of water.According to ONE campaign and Brad Pitt (during his interview on Primetime), US is the most wealthy country in the world, yet, we're contributing the least to help Africa and poverty. that makes me sick.+ it's raining today. People say that when it rains, it means God is crying. As I watch out the window and see puddles of rain form on the cement, I wonder what he's upset about right now. If that's true, I would sure like to know.+ they say that nobody's perfect and there's no such thing as perfect. who the hell came up with that word if it doesn't exist?+ There are such religions that say that deafness is a punishment for our doings in a past life. If I'm deaf and I'm living rather a marvelous life, what does that say about punishment? + It's such pressure and really annoying to have to put yourself out there to get recognized. I've seen people agree that the quiet-and-gets-overlooked people are really great people that are being missed out on. Why do they STILL get overlooked? It's not like they're SO hard to notice like being a wallflower at a party and their shirt is the same print as the wallpaper that's behind them.it's a weird world, alright.

reminiscing with choked tears

going to my first CSD graduation was nice. I guess I really am a sentimental person because I keep trying to fight back tears at all those touching moments. Remembering my own graduation. It wasn't as intimate as CSD's because of course, I graduated with 300+ students. but the moments afterwards was really emotional. I was finally FREE. it was tough reminiscing all that yesterday.then watching Leala and Amanda doing the Friends Forever song. that was lovely. I had tears, I'll admit it right there. The song made me think of the friends I have encountered and grown extremely close with since I came to Gallaudet. They stuck by me. seen me cry. went all "aksjdfakljsd" with me when I had the best news ever. truthfully answered my questions when it came to things that I struggled to understand. making it fun for me to be my silly self and give them laughter. came to see all my performances and gave me all their support. With them, I feel at home at Gallaudet. I was so proud that I have gotten the chance to know them. I wish they were with me here in California. No doubt about it, California would be 5032432xtimes more funn with them all here.other than graduation, I had a bunch of laughs with the girls. Hoping more comin' along my stay here. As we go onWe rememberAll the times weHad togetherAnd as our lives changeCome WhateverWe will still beFriends Forever

shut the buck up! and.... smile.

Don't you hate that? Uncomfortable silence. Why do we feel its necessary to talk about bull in order to feel comfortable? That's when you know you've found somebody really special. When you can shut the hell up for a minute and comfortably share a silence. -pulp fiction.hmm. we all have been hypocritcal at some point in our lives. is it wrong to accuse people of being hypocrites?besides hypocrisy, it's beautiful to find people who you can have comfortable silence with. I know i have several people who i just love to sit there. talk about a few things. yet, we're talking about so much more than it seems. and I walk away feeling so warm and complete. with a grin on my face. i think that kind of relationship with people comes kinda rare in life. Special people, indeed.Grab ahold once you got them. don't ever let them go. :)

greek mythology, more to it than it seems.

last night, for some reason, i got into the mood of wanting to learn about the greek mythology. Since I was always fascinated with Hercules, the disney movie. I remember learning it a long time ago during my freshman year in high school. but i didnt have the motivation to learn by then. Until recently, I saw the movie Troy. My desire to learn about greek mythology ignited once again.So i browsed around the internet last night and today... Learned some pretty cool things. I was going to add this to my personal journal but then i thought maybe some of you would be interested to know this stuff.Watching Troy, my main curiosity was focused on Achillies, Brad Pitt's character. (Not because brad was butt-naked in the movie- although that was very nice, i'd have to say.) Achilles was one who cannot be defeated. I wondered if he was greek god in disguise. I looked him up and found out that he was simply mortal. the thing was that his mom was afraid for Achilles when he was an infant. So she dipped him into River Styx (river in Greece) so he could be protected. but his mother dipped him, holding his heel- making it the only part of him that wasn't dipped. That became his weak spot. Pretty cool to know that Achilles is also the name of the bone behind our feet, the heel, to this day. Zeus [god of the sky], Hades [god of the underworld] and Posedion [god of the water] are actually all brothers and after defeating their father, Cronus [king of Titans & controls of the universe], they split up the poessesion. The thing i thought was fucked up was that in Hercules, Hades was jealous of Hercules and Zeus. wanting to be god of the sky as well as the underworld. Well, didn't he pick the underworld in the first place?yes- i know it's summer. :-D

The Confessions of a New Jersey Resident.

gawsh. it's kinda depressing to watch movies with people around you falling asleep. so much for watching movies with your parents. not to a mention a father who's snores annoy the HELL out of you.so i finally watched Garden State movie. with Natalie Portman and Zach Braff. it was a brilliant movie. it was definitely not a movie that i could predict what happens next. Although, I must make a statement on how New Jersey was portrayed in the movie. *chuckles* you probably didn't see that one coming. from me. haha.well, okay. If some of you are wondering, yes it is true. New Jersey has this joke attached to it that it's a dumpsite for New York City. well. in some areas of NJ, it ain't very pleasant. Especially, Newark. If you ever think about taking a "hell-of-it" vacation or a honeymoon to Newark, New Jersey. Well- forget it. i promise you. you're not missing out on anything. :) Now, the more south you go, the prettier it is. I hail from Brick, which is 15 minutes from the beach (minus all the traffic on weekends). People are clean cut around here. Nice homes. Nuttin' like that boat that seems to fall into the ditch anytime in the movie. No i did not grow up in a boat. Frankly, I don't think anyone did around here. I went to Brick Memorial High school and graduated. I can relate to that guy where it's everywhere he goes- he bumps into someone he used to know. Everytime I go out, there's always someone I see, we greet and get the low-down on what we're doing now. And almost everytime I say I go to college in Washington, DC. I get *gasps* "really? that's far!! wow... who me? oh... I'm going to ocean community college now... and working... yeah." Hmm. What I can say is true, is the feelings this Andrew character feels when he comes back into town. Everyone's the same. Everyone is not exactly moving along the same pace you are. Which I feel- defines a bit of what I'm going through. All the times i get back to NJ, i hate it. Yes, I groannn at the thought of going back to NJ. However, I do love my house. (It's a real nice house. thankyouverymuch. okay. fine. maybe we do have a little graveyard in our backyard. but nothing fancy-schmancy as Sam[Natalie Portman]) My room is pretty cool. AND colorful. I own a cat & two gerbils. Not a thousand. ;) Anyway, My life around the house. is nice. my parents are extremely good to me. I love the peaceful feeling I get whenever I plop onto my bed and stare at everything around my room. realizing that nothing needs to be dusted. mom did everything the day before I got home. It's just the social life around here. I used to be content with my life before college. I was this quiet girl that felt safe and sound at home, but longed for something more. to be somewhere else. dreaming of a different life. not SO different. But in some ways, different. Then the time came when I went to college. Busy life. Always on the go. meeting sooo many different people. different personalities. it was entirely different culture. and I loved it. It's like once you experienced the hype, there's no turnin' back. I learned a lot about myself. I yearn for something more. Life outside of Jersey gives me that. Where I long to be. Is in California. I could say that i'm on medication or have a desire to be an actress. but then I'd be lying. And you'd know because I'll tell you that I was lying. Just like Sam. I'll be there one day. Jersey is a place where I'll always feel safe. But in your life, you can't always be safe. You have to be willing to take risks and all. And That's what I'm doing.so there you have it. My statement for those who watched the movie, never been to new jersey, watched the Garden State film and thought "ohhh, so THAT's why meg ain't proud to be a jersey girl. why her heart is set on california."although, what I'd like to know- did Zach Braff grow up in Jersey or what? :-)

something for you to think about.

Animals and children tell the truth, they never lieWhich one is more human?There’s a thought, now you decide